We set off for the shops today with - for the first time in my 21 (+) years on this planet - "cheap napkin holder" on the shopping list. We're in the midst of a mini canicule (heatwave) at the moment (37°C today) and the little puddles of water left every time a chilled beverage is set down between sips (three per 125 ml glass on average) are starting to warp the wooden surfaces. Solution: serve drinks with cheap disposable napkins - those recycled, single-ply jobbies that stick to the undercarriage of the receptacle - to mop up residual condensation.I had in mind a classic, 50's-style, chrome-look, stainless steel dispenser, and this being mainland Europe (and not a tiny little island in the middle of the Atlantic), I assumed that I would be spoilt for choice. But after visiting four shops (avoiding Bos Equipement Hôtelier - too soon to go back there, although they probably have an entire room devoted to napkin dispensers), we were left with one option. (Note the word "option" not "choice", the latter denoting a variety of things available for choosing between.)
This is what we ended up with …
frosted glass, nice shape, easy on the eye. And when the napkins were inserted it looked like this - all shipshape and Bristol fashion …
but after five minutes …
napkins flopping about all over the place in a sluttish fashion and displeasing to the eye.So, applying our minds to the "perkiness" factor of the napkins, we considered the following options:
1. Air flow: Two hairdryers, one blowing from either side, would keep the napkins upright. The simplicity of this appealed to BB until I pointed out that the hairdryers would clutter up the table leaving little room for condiments. Marks out of 10: 5
2. Varnishing: Varnish the napkins. Stroke of genius. Until we remembered the primary function of the napkins was absorption. Ok for dislodging a piece of tzatziki cucumber from between your front teeth but not good for mopping up a glass of wine spilt in your guest's lap. Marks out of 10: 2
3. Gravity-driven wedges: (illustrated here by BB on the back of a proverbial envelope) ...
4. Adjustable cramp-based solution: Do away with the glass holder altogether and substitute two book ends with a bungee cord wrapped round to imitate expensive "spring-loaded" model advertised on Amazon ("Customers who bought this also bought Bill Haley Rock Around The Clock"). I liked this cavalier, thinking-outside-the-box solution but concluded that the whole ensemble would clash with my Wedgwood fine bone china. Marks out of 10: 6
5. Catenary: (where y = a * cos (x/a))
Again dispensing with the holder, hang the napkins up in a catenary by stapling them all together and attaching the ends to the ceiling with drawing-pins. Not practical for outdoor dining and once you'd extracted one napkin the whole lot would fall down. Marks out of 10: 1 (because I was impressed by the word "catenary").
So - no perfect 10. Suggestions/comments welcome.
8 comments:
It would be a perfect 10 to hold mail or folded notes. Then you can get a napkin holder that lies flat, so the napkins themselves are lying down not standing (or attempting to) stand up.
Or you can eliminate paper napkins, and get napkin rings so you can use the same napkin all day or - like they used to a long, long time ago - until the napkin is dirty. That's why silver napkin rings used to have initials on them - so you could pick out your own napkin.
2 suggestions:-
1. Cut two straight lengths of wire about 7-8 inches long from a wire coathanger. Bend each into an acute angle (about 30 degrees)and stand on either side of the napkins. As necessary, lock the pieces of wire in place with tiny blobs of Blu-Tack.
2. Use coasters to put your glasses on.
Cut the napkins in half on the horizontal.
Cunningly conceal a piece of thin but stiff cardboard within the folds of the outer two napkins, thereby supporting the main inner stack, and thus keeping the aesthetics of the whole arrangement intact. Perhaps glue them to the sides for extra security and to prevent unsuspecting guests from the embarrassment of selecting this outer napkin and attempting to mop up their spills with a piece of cardboard.
Oooh, California Poppies! You're making me so-o-o-o homesick for my native Golden State -- also giving me saudades for the Azores (incl. Neil/Carol's adopted island of Flores), as I suspect returning or visiting emigrants brought or sent poppy seeds to their relatives there, since the climate's similar.
Back on topic: How about you just lay the napkin holder on its side (i.e., horizontally), so people will take them from what then becomes the top?
You can also fold the napkin into a triangle so the top is just peaking over the top of the holder.
Summer in southern Ontario hasn't really hit, so we haven't broken out the napkins yet.
Fold the napkins!
Use a an old tissue box. You can buy some with pretty patterns. stuff the napkins through the top and the extract as you did the tissues?
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